Blood Water
by SarahZahde
Summary: During a night raid, Korra accidentally kills a young Equalist.


Ran Lee looked around, trying to figure out, in the haze of battle, which masked Equalist was her brother. The Avatar caught her eye-more importantly, the skinny figure who had just delivered a well-placed blow to the Avatar's collarbone. That strike would render her bending useless. Beneath the cloth of her mask, Ran allowed a wide smile of pride stretch across her face.

She felt, rather than heard, something zooming towards her, and turned just in time to feel a large rock slam into her jaw, knocking her completely over. Brown splotches crawled in front of her vision, but she struggled to sit up, stay awake, figure out if Zhang was still okay up against the Avatar. Luckily, whoever had struck her had considered her down and left her alone to chase after a few Equalists who were leaving the scene. Ran could hear the grainy roar of their motorcycles. She struggled onto her hands and knees, which hit her with such an intense wave of nausea that she barely managed to pull her mask up before she vomited on the ground.

"Look, just tell me where your hideout is!" a frustrated shout came from nearby. Ran wiped her mouth on her sleeve and managed to focus on the Avatar, who was holding a struggling and kicking Zhang up by the neck in one of her powerful brown hands. She had obviously already pulled his lightning glove off, as well as his mask. Horror gripped Ran's chest, and she tried to stand, but dizziness drove her back to the ground, and she slowly tried to crawl to her brother. He was too young for this, why hadn't he believed her when she said he was too young…

"Never… tyrant," Zhang choked out, trying to find a pressure point along the arm that held him. Avatar Korra brought him closer to her snarling face.

"What did you just call me?!" she said. Ran saw her fingers tighten around his throat.

"Zhang!" Ran said desperately. Her voice sounded weak and muffled in her ears, but the Avatar looked over at her. For a moment, Ran thought she saw a triumphant, devilish smile on the Avatar's face. Zhang's arms suddenly went limp, and Korra turned her head sharply to look back at him. She released him with a horrified gasp, but caught him just before he crumpled to the ground. It felt as though Ran's mask was stifling her-she couldn't see Zhang's face through this green light- she pulled off her mask, and the fabric scraped painfully along her jaw wound, which felt like it might be broken. Her mouth tasted of blood and vomit.

Zhang's lips had turned to an icy purple, and the Avatar was staring down at him with huge, horrified blue eyes.

"He's not b-breathing," she said in a panicked voice.

"Heal him, heal him you idiot! You're a waterbender, right?!" Ran Lee tried to choke out, but only managed to say "heal him" around her injured jaw.

"Water, I need water!" Korra looked around wildly, and pulled some water out of a nearby drain with a flick of her wrist. She squeezed her eyes shut and concentrated. Her watery hand glowed around Zhang's throat. Ran finally managed to get to his side, kneeling and staring anxiously into his face that now glowed an eerie bluish green. He hadn't taken a breath yet.

"Lay him down flat!" Ran Lee ordered, her words nearly incoherent around her injury. But Korra understood and slid him off of her lap, hand still hovering over his throat.

Ran put a hand on his still chest, trying to feel a pulse, and her fingers turned cold when she realized there was none.

"Take the water away!" she ordered, shooing the Avatar aside. Korra obeyed, and if Ran had taken an extra moment to notice, she would have seen tears running down her stricken brown face.

Ran placed her lightning gloved hand on Zhang's chest and sent a low-power shock through his chest. She grabbed at his throat for a pulse-none yet. She grabbed at the pressure points along the neck that were supposed to restart the heart-nothing. She tipped his chin back, plugged his nose, and sent a few breaths into his mouth. His chest rose and fell, but they were artificial. And that was when Ran very nearly lost it, pounding on her brother's chest and crying incoherently. Blood dripped down her chin out of her mouth, and finally something snapped against her wrists, trapping her arms behind her. She looked up to find that the Avatar was standing nearby, talking in a muffled voice to a police officer. Another officer was hauling Ran to her feet, but she managed to scream something one last time.

"AVATAR KORRA! YOU KILLED MY BROTHER!"

* * *

Korra sat at the end of the dock, staring blindly at the golden lights of Republic City. That in itself was wrong, she decided. Why was she allowed to be on this island, when she should be in jail? Hadn't she killed that boy? She couldn't decide which she would prefer-the pitying looks of Tenzin's family or the possible hazing from jailmates.

Hazing, she decided. That would, at least, make her feel like she was finally being punished for going too far, instead of coddled and given special treatment for being the Avatar.

That was what it came down to, right now. The boy, Zhang, had been an Equalist and a criminal, and Korra was the Avatar. Tarrlok had even-the thought made her want to throw herself into the sea and never resurface-praised her for getting rid of an Equalist. Zhang couldn't have been more than fifteen.

Korra dug the heels of her hands into her eyes. Why hadn't she just let him go a few seconds earlier? No, no, there was the problem-she shouldn't have had her hand around his throat at all, she shouldn't have picked him up and pulled off his mask and tried to interrogate him while Asami and Bolin and Mako drove off after a bunch of escapees. She hadn't even registered the girl vomiting a few yards away. Every fiber of her being was focused on how powerful her hands felt with his pulse thundering against her palm, the weight of him making her arm ache a little, the futility of his hands scrabbling against-

"No, no, no!" Korra yelled. She pulled her hood up and yanked it down over her nose, trying desperately to hide from that feeling, that awful feeling of power that had gotten her carried away and ended a human life.

Was she a monster? Korra had never wanted to kill someone, but sending her sparring partner flying had always only brought satisfaction, sometimes requiring a little visit to the healing hut later to see if he was alright. They were always alright. Human beings had NEVER been this fragile before! Had they?

She heard a step on the dock behind her. Tenzin.

"What would Aang do?" Korra said in a low voice.

"He wouldn't have been in this situation," Tenzin said gently. "The one time he lost control of his bending, he-"

"I know, I know, he hurt Katara and was never going to firebend again and decided he would later because he's the Avatar, bla bla bla." Korra was still curled up, hood pulled over her face. "But I wasn't bending. I wasn't doing anything Avatar-y, it was all me, I'm the one who k-ki…"

Tenzin waited. Korra leapt to her feet and yelled out to the city. "I'M THE ONE WHO KILLED HIM!" Flames sparked around her fists, but she suddenly seemed to lose energy and stopped. Her shoulders were hunched over, arms limp and hanging loosely as she stared into the water. She seemed to collapse onto the ground, but landed in a cross-legged position.

"Just leave me alone, Tenzin," she said quietly. "Please."

And it was only when the sky started to lighten with the first hint of dawn that Korra realized that Tenzin had left, and that she had been lying against Naga for several hours, staring at the stars while her muscles froze over. If only her heart would freeze over, as well. Anything to stop it from hurting.

Anything...

* * *

**A/N: Although I had originally planned to launch a story from this, its fate will most likely be to stay a oneshot. Thanks for reading :)**


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